Filed under: Breast Cancer , Sunday Seven , Cancer Survivors I am on the verge of tears watching Danny sleep peacefully and happily in his new big-boy bed, surrounded by comfy covers and his favorite snuggly items. I am choked up by the sight of Joey's two missing front teeth, that smile that shows one big tooth struggling to emerge, the way his tongue slips through that big opening when he says his friend's name -- Catherine -- with the sweetest little lisp. My boys' milestones have always warmed my heart. Walking behind Joey as he learned to ride his bike with training wheels was a joyous rite of passage. Watching my little boy from behind as he propelled himself forward on our neighborhood sidewalk will be forever etched in my mind. This was before breast cancer, though. Now, after breast cancer, every step my boys take hits me like a ton of bricks. Breast cancer has turned my heart to mush. I consider it a good thing -- the depth of feeling I experience over every-day matters. I feel more grateful, thankful, and touched by life in general and by my family in particular. I credit nearly losing everything to my increased sensitivity and softness to the world around me. Life is fragile. I know that now. And for this, I have seven simple words: I promise I will never forget it. Permalink     Email this     Linking Blogs     Comments

Filed under: Breast Cancer A few days ago, notification of an e-mail arrived in my inbox. It popped up right in front of me, with the sender's name -- Amy Wilson -- glaring in black print right before my eyes. Amy is my friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer just after my own diagnosis. We e-mailed frequently about our cancer hopes and fears and so it was never before odd that a message would travel from her computer in Ohio to mine in Florida. But on the day this one e-mail arrived, it was odd -- because Amy died two weeks ago, after a 15-month battle with the disease we both vowed to conquer. The e-mail was not from Amy. It was from her husband, Paul. And it was as comforting to hear from him as it was odd to see Amy's name flash in front of me. You see, I have wanted to call Paul, e-mail Paul, send a card to Paul -- something. I have wanted to reach out in some way, even though I have never met the man who thought he would spend the rest of his life raising his two children with Amy. But I never could figure out what I would write or say or send. I have been afraid that it would be hard for him to talk about Amy's death. I've been afraid that it would be hard for me to talk about her death. So I have waited, hoping the passage of time would help prepare me for some sort of action. And in the end, time was not necessary. Because Paul reached out to me. And this is what he wrote in the e-mail he sent from Amy's mailbox. I'm Amy's husband Paul and I was going through Amy's e-mail and noticed your e-mail. I'm not sure if Ericha told you or not but Amy passed away 10/05/06. Here is the story: http://www.ohio.com/mld/ohio/15693317.htm If you're hearing this for the first time, sorry to tell you over e-mail. You were a great inspiration to Amy. Your quote " Fight the Good Fight" was front and center on our fridge. Please don't let this news get you down, Amy would want your chin up, would want you to keep fighting. Thanks for all your support. And now I can contact Paul, because he has opened the door. He -- the one suffering the greatest loss -- has comforted me. And now I need to thank him. Read     Permalink     Email this     Linking Blogs     Comments

Filed under: Breast Cancer , Pink products Laugh. Joy. Love & Respect. Choose Happiness. These are the words that appear on the heart-shaped charms on my breast cancer bracelet made by Brighton . I wear it every day because of the uplifting messages that dangle around my wrist and also because one of the charms is a watch -- a real watch, in the shape of a heart with a pink background and inscribed words that say "Live in the Moment." Just before I received this bracelet from my friend -- whose own mother lost her breast cancer battle recently -- I was in desperate need of a watch. I hadn't needed one for the past four years because as a stay-at-home mom, my schedule was dictated not by the clock but by the needs of two rowdy little boys. But I got a job at a preschool and now time is very important. I have to be at work on time. I have to attend meetings and events. I have to chart the departures of children.  I have to leave my job at a certain time. A watch became necessary and just before my job started, my bracelet arrived in the mail. A perfect gift. Perfect timing. A perfect way to stay in tune with the passage of time. A perfect way to stay motivated on my breast cancer journey. Another charm on my bracelet reads, "Wherever you go, go with your heart." Whenever my bracelet jingles and jangles on my arm, I am reminded to do just this. To go with my heart. To follow my heart. To feel peace in my heart. This bracelet helps me.  It works like a charm. Read     Permalink     Email this     Linking Blogs     Comments